I’m astonished at the level of coincidence surrounding this prompt. Just yesterday I posted about my fascination since childhood with the question “Why?”. Today, I see this prompt, and within it, a quote from Neitzsche that I literally just saw on Monday during my Trident Mindset lesson.
Why? Why am I seeing this quote for the second time in a week? Why is “why” following me around in real life instead of being trapped in the maze of thoughts in my mind? I ask why a lot, but this kind of recurrence from external sources is a bit much.
So many questions. Is it simple coincidence? Is it serendipity? Is it god or the universe giving me a metaphysical smack in the face because of my trend of posts about the possibility of life being random and not orchestrated? Is it kinda like when you are thinking of yellow cars, you see more yellow cars, but only because you notice it more not because you’re actually seeing more yellow cars than usual?
I don’t know. But I am tired. I’m quite sure my brain will continue to process this while I sleep, giving me more inspiration for tomorrow.
I have come to realize that people are nice for different reasons.
Some people are nice simply out of adherence to social convention.
Some people are nice because they are manipulating you; they need or want something from you.
Some people are nice because they are just a nice person, and may even be a bit naive.
Some people are nice because they have walked through hell and fought demons every single day at some point in their lives, and perhaps still do. All the while, the world goes on as usual, expecting normal things from people in very abnormal circumstances.
The problem lies in the fact that you never truly know which category a person falls into, and you may never know. This is why it is important to always be kind, but also important to protect yourself. This may mean saying no if you need to, establishing boundaries, and so on. This may also mean not taking advantage of someone’s niceness, because you may not want to find out what the other side of that person looks like.
This is my favorite question; has been since I was a little kid.
I remember one instance in particular, I was maybe 4 or 5 years old. I was walking into a store with my mom, chattering away about whatever crossed my mind, likely asking a bunch of questions in the process. I remember asking my mom why the sky is blue. She got exasperated, sighed, and told me that I ask too many questions.
In all of my 4-or 5-year-old glory, I was unphased, and responded adamantly, “Mommy, why do I ask too many questions?”. She sighed again and told me to hush. I continued to, and to this day, ask a lot of questions. I actually have a tattoo on the back of my neck that says “question everything”.
I know that I may never have the answer to all of the “why” questions that I ask, either out loud or in my mind, and that’s ok. I also understand that the answers I have now may change as science evolves and uncovers even deeper truths. Either way, I will continue to search for answers.
I’m probably gonna date myself here, but I don’t care.
I liked the yellow pages for finding companies. You could look up a category – lawyers, furniture, dentists, whatever – and get a listing of all the businesses of that type in your area. You know your area, so could tell by the town names how far away they are. Maybe you had a friend who used a particular company and told you they loved dealing with that company. Noted. Maybe a coworker had a horrible experience with a different company. Also noted. (Mental filing cabinets are your friends!!)
My point is, I don’t want some algorithm to show me only the results that it thinks I’d be interested in. I also don’t want another algorithm to bombard me with ads for shit I have no interest in just because I was curious about one thing on a random fucking Tuesday a few weeks ago. I don’t want to see sponsored listings for something only remotely related, or from companies that pay to subvert other companies by having their info at the top of the results list. I want to see ~all~ of my options, speak to a human being when I call, and make my own informed decision about who I’m going to give my business to. Just sayin.
My brain is a sponge living in a body with self-destructive/murderous tendencies.
I will elaborate.
I can learn just about anything pretty quickly, and love to do so. Hence, sponge. I also have an autoimmune condition which attacks and damages my brain. Hence, self-destructive/murderous tendencies.
Just a random, slightly fucked up, oddly funny thought that crossed my mind as I was getting ready to sleep, so I figured I’d share.
Part 4 was a discussion of the scarier points of a random universe, but ended with a question about free will, which I’d like to get into now. To start, we will consult Merriam-Webster.
There are two ways to write this word — freewill and free will, the former being an adjective, the latter a noun. We are interested in the noun, so here we go:
Free will is making a choice on your own, but can that rule out randomness? Habits come to mind, which makes me think that yes, free will can rule out the idea that all choices are random.
But what about those choices not related to habit? And, to expand on that, how many of our choices are not related to habitual behavior? For example, if you are a frugal person, and see a dollar on the sidewalk, you’re likely to pick it up. If not, you may just walk on by. That choice to pick up the dollar or not, is related to a quality that you have – being frugal. And it creates certain habits, even if you did not consciously work to establish said habit. That leads to the conclusion that the type of person we are – frugal, a career person, an animal person, etc. – determines the types of habits we have and the choices we make. That, in turn, makes me think that all of our choices are related to habit, and if that is the case, not random.
Additionally, are there any random habits? The more I think about this, I think that any choice that we make is based on habit. But we can choose to forego habitual behavior. For example, I attended a baby shower today. I purchased non-practical gifts for said event. This was out of character for me, since I tend to err on the side of practicality when it comes to gifts for big events like birth or marriage.
Let’s take a moment to consult the dictionary again:
Habits are usual, regular, or recurring events or modes of behavior. Random is random – it could be any of the choices, with equal probability of each; the flip of a coin. Human beings are creatures of habit. If you have a particular value, such as honesty, or frugality, then your behaviors tend to reinforce that value. In other words, your choices reflect your values. Habits are value based. Can values be random? I lean towards no on this, because values have a purpose, and can have or cause a pattern.
A random thought, how do instincts fall into this? Instincts are predictable behaviors, but not one that a choice is made about.
This needs some additional thought before I continue. Prepare for part 6!
I have been writing lately about the possibility that life is just a random series of events, that there is no meaning to any of it. Again, to emphasize…. The possibility. I do not nor do I claim to know the answer to that question.
Another thing that I have been thinking about is the number phi and the Fibonacci sequence. Key word here is thinking. Internal. Known to myself only.
What to I see on FB today? A scene from the movie Pi, one of my favorite movies, where Max is talking to someone about the numerical significance of Hebrew, and then he ends up explaining the Fibonacci sequence to this other dude. What?!?
Seriously, wtf? Can the internet read my mind now? Is this the grandest of all consequences? Or is this something bigger than all of that? How do i figure out which?
I need to design an experiment. Maybe, not thinking, I looked up something related to Fibonacci, or some algorithm saw my draft post. Either way, I need to eliminate variables and get some useful data.
I hate rude people. They hereby, if it was not made clear previously, officially qualify for Asshole status. If you’re in a meeting and make a phone call without warning and without excusing yourself, that is rude. If you tolerate intense background noise on a call that makes you difficult to hear, and then expect the other person to just deal with it, you are rude. If you cut someone in a long line for something without good reason and without asking, you are rude. If, in general, you do not consider other people in your day-to-day interactions around other people, and ask, or excuse yourself before doing something that will interrupt, inconvenience, or in some way negatively impact them, then you are rude, and by extension, an asshole.
Beliefs are interesting things, because there is no fact behind them; there is no objective evidence. And yet, violence – wars, even – happen because of beliefs.
I saw an interesting clip on FB a while back, and there were two dudes talking, and the one said, “Don’t you know that belief is a doubt?” and the other dude says, “How is belief a doubt?” and the original dude says, “Because you cannot believe something and know it.” and he goes on to explain that “you can only believe in what you don’t know.” (here’s a link to the clip on Youtube) It was really intriguing, and certainly pertains to this discussion. If I know something – I know I woke up this morning, or that I had steak and shrimp for dinner last night, I don’t have to believe those things. They happened; I witnessed them. Or, as the dude in the video points out, I know my parents, I don’t believe in them. But, I’ve never met Santa Clause, so as a child, I had to believe in him. It’s a perspective I never considered.
On to more thinking, and brooding that it’s too cloudy to see the meteor shower.
A Peculiar Cerebral Tangle 