Tag: #thoughtsofnumberwoman

“Can’t” vs “Don’t”

September 14th, 2023

I actually misheard a song lyric a while back, but what I thought I heard actually sparked an interesting set of thoughts in my mind.

There is a distinct difference between saying that someone “can’t” do something and saying that they “don’t” do something.

If someone can’t do something, they lack the knowledge, ability, or skills to do so. For example, I can’t frame out a building. It’s a simple fact. I would have no clue how to do it properly.

If someone doesn’t do something, it may be that they are perfectly capable of whatever task or action; they simply choose not to. For example, I am capable of being a salesperson, but I made a choice not to do so as my profession.

I think more people need to realize and appreciate that in some (if not many) cases, a person is nice or good because they choose to be, not because they lack the ability to be mean or rude or even violent.

It’s an important fact to remember – you never truly know what someone might be capable of. Just because they don’t does ~not~ mean that they can’t.
Fine

September 13th, 2023

Just want to point out that although this word is a real word, with a definition and everything, it’s also a sneaky, undercover acronym! Most acronyms are all stuck up and self-absorbed with their fancy capital letters! But not fine. Fine is subtle. Fine is tactful. Fine is prevalent – it applies to lots of people!

fucked up

insecure

neurotic

emotional
Fall

September 13th, 2023

I love fall. It is my favorite season. I know a few people who feel the same. For some, it’s Halloween. For some it’s the change in weather and saying goodbye to ridiculous heat and humidity. Other people love fall because it’s the precursor to their actual favorite season.

For me, there has always been a sad sort of beauty in Mother Nature getting ready for winter. Trees turn vivid colors in a blazing attempt to cling to life as the cold months draw near. Animals who don’t migrate gorge themselves to build body fat for their upcoming months-long nap, or build multiple stockpiles with anticipatory madness. The days grow shorter, and everything seems to slow down a bit. Fall offers a strange sort of peace before the shroud of winter drapes the would-be corpse of the world.
Social Media Comment Rules (my own)

September 12th, 2023

I don’t spend much time on social media, but I’ve seen the comments section on some posts full of argumentative nonsense. If – and that’s a very big IF – I comment on someone’s post, I have a few criteria for said comment before doing so.

Questions that must have an affirmative answer:

Will it make the person who posted the original thing smile/laugh?

Will it comfort the person who posted the original thing?

Does it provide verifiable information that I have to someone who doesn’t have that information?

Questions that must have negative answer:

Will it create or add to drama or other such bullshit? (i.e. – would I be arguing with someone just to argue rather than having an intelligent conversation?)

Is it flat out mean? (Sarcasm on friend’s posts doesn’t count, they know me)

And that’s pretty much it. Just sharing for the hell of it.

Have a good night!
Sometimes….

September 12th, 2023

A person will come into your life and make jail time seem like an acceptable consequence for actions you really want to take. Like punching them in the face. Because they’re being dumb. Or an asshole. Or a dumb asshole.

To be clear, consideration is not action.
Adjective Order – who knew?

September 11th, 2023

I came across something the other day, and I was baffled by it….

First off, I don’t know if the bit about Tolkien is legit. That’s a potential investigation for a different day. Secondly, I was always a very good student, and I don’t remember ~ever~ being taught this order of adjectives, at least not explicitly. I mean, was this an actual thing and I just completely forgot but continued to utilize it on a daily basis? Or was it perhaps a more subtle, obscure teaching that nobody ever talks about? An unspoken rule?

I went digging. A web search offers lots of results – Grammarly, Khan Academy, Wikipedia, etc – a glance through the results list lead me to the Cambridge Dictionary site. Granted, it is British origin, but that’s where US English started, so that works for me as a starting point. Check this out: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/grammar/british-grammar/adjectives-order

Where did this required order come from? What’s the logic behind it? Who decided? Why was I never given a chance to question or argue the fact that I can have a beautiful big round metal table but that having a round metal big beautiful table is completely unheard of?! (For the record, writing that sentence was ridiculously awkward!)

Does the former of the two statements “sound” better? Yes. But why? Is it just because that order is what we’re used to? Why was this rule established? How is it that just about everyone who speaks English adheres to this rule, but no one can explain it? Why don’t people talk about it? Is it because the “order” is arbitrary and has no logic behind it? I am curious. I wish I could talk to my English 102 professor. He was hardcore into the language. He actually forbade anyone from using colloquial terms in his class because it disgusted him, as he considered informal terms to be a disservice to the language. He might know the answer, but I have no idea if or how I can contact him at this point.

Either way, it was a long day, and I’m tired, so this will have to sit on the mental back burner for now. Until then, have a wonderful evening!
Screen Protectors

September 10th, 2023

Why aren’t these included and installed on stock devices? First of all, many of us have issues getting the shit lined up correctly. And don’t get me started on the bubbles around microscopic bits of dust that are invisible but still apparently big enough to cause an issue. Give us a little while to enjoy a clear screen that is actually protected!

And it’s not like including one screen protector with the initial purchase of the device is going to do anything to actually impact the market for screen protectors. I mean – have you seen how badly some people treat their devices? Or how fucking clumsy some people are? Just do your customers a favor for once. if you’re gonna rip them off for the latest version of whatever device, at least give them something to protect it for bit.

Oh, and for those who manufacture screen protectors… if you strike a deal with Apple or Samsung to be a “recommended” brand, your sales will skyrocket. Just sayin. Think about it.
Fantasia

September 10th, 2023

This post was inspired by a conversation with my aunt. She sent me a picture of a giant guitar pick that had the words “Music is what feelings sound like” on it, which is an absolutely factual statement. I may not be able to explain to you what I’m feeling at a particular moment, but I can pretty much guarantee you that there is a song (or in some cases, a playlist) that can make you understand. (I mean, hasn’t anyone ever made a mixed tape for their crush?! Seriously!) And it’s not just the lyrics. Musical composition has ~a lot~ to do with it too.

I got to thinking about it, and I wondered where this obsession with music and its deep connection to emotions came from for me. I’ve said for the longest time that music keeps me sane, but it’s more than that. I can literally name three albums that saved my life over the years. But, I digress.

It hit me – Fantasia. The Disney movie released in 1940. Before my parents were even a glimmer in someone’s eye, much less me! This movie is how I became obsessed with the emotional essence that is infused into a song. It is a complex relationship that is hard to explain but easy to experience. I don’t remember how old I was the first time I saw Fantasia, but I remember watching it many times when I was a kid. I would even ask my mom if I could watch it when I was home from school because I was sick. There are no words in this movie aside from the intermission, just music. When Mickey screws up, did something he shouldn’t have, and shit starts going wrong, that music puts you on the edge of your seat, feeling the fear and dread that you could see Mickey dealing with too. I was hooked.

And the entire movie was like that! From the pegasus – hold on, side note – what’s the plural of pegasus? Is it just pegasus, similar to moose and moose, or is it pegusi like octopi for octopus? Anyway, from the pegasus flying around, the dancing flowers and mushrooms, to the little baby satyrs and unicorns being mischievous. All of it was so emotional, but without a single word. It is beautiful. It is powerful. Music has held that power since, for me, at least. And I am so grateful for that, because it gives me a chance to experience a life that much richer.
If your life were a book

September 9th, 2023

I like to read. At one point, I was definitely a bookworm. I get so wrapped up in whatever I am reading, the whole world just disappears from my awareness. It doesn’t matter if it’s fiction or not. If it grabs my attention, good luck getting me to do anything but read until I am done with it.

When I was reading one of Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time books, my favorite character died. I was so invested in the story, I could see each scene and hear every conversation in my mind. I would try to get into the characters’ minds and figure out what they were thinkin, what their motivations were, and what they would do next. When I read that paragraph, and saw the death of my favorite character in my mind, I was devastated. I literally threw the book across the room and have not picked up that series since.

I saw something earlier today that basically said that you can’t skip chapters of your life just because they are painful or difficult or you don’t like them. You have to read the whole book, cover to cover. If your life were a book, you couldn’t throw it across the room if you got upset at a plot twist. This brings up two things in my mind. First – I should maybe restart that series and power through my emotional reaction to my favorite character’s demise and give the rest of the characters a chance to finish their stories in my head. Second – bad chapters or events you don’t like don’t ruin the whole experience of a book. The same applies to life. You have to finish your story regardless. Might as well look forward to what’s waiting on the next page. Who knows? It could be a great plot twist….
A new place

September 8th, 2023

Observing life from a remote perspective and from a place where bullshit and antics can’t get to you is a really interesting feeling. It’s a skill I’d like to develop. Based on what I’ve experienced of it so far, I like it.

I have always been a pretty calm person. Even in some of the most fucked up situations, I kept my cool and did what had to be done. I had shit to take care of, people who depend on me, and that came before any emotional, reactionary bullshit. But, once I was alone, everything fell apart. That roller coaster ride is absolutely insane, not to mention fucking exhausting. And let’s not talk about the possibility of developing unhealthy coping mechanisms. Sometimes, those mechanisms could be a shit ton of fun, but definitely not something you’d want to incorporate into daily life.

Lately, I find that I can detach from situations. I notice that I would normally get mad or upset about the situation, but then let that feeling just pass right on through. Like seeing someone you know while driving or walking around town. You wave, they wave. You’ve acknowledged each other, but you continue your separate ways without stopping to interact. But in this case, it’s not a person, it’s emotions. Sometimes, it’s emotion that, normally, would completely fuck up your day. It’s so strange. But liberating.

To be clear, I’m not in any way saying that I have shit all figured out, because I don’t. That’s for damn sure. I have moments of emotion that I can’t just let go of. I have blind rage moments, crushing sadness moments, moments of crippling self-doubt….just like anybody else. This new way of looking at things, though, this new place that my mind can observe things from…I noticed it recently but it really hit me today. It’s not an all day or even every day thing. Still strapped in to that roller coaster for sure. But, I now think there’s actually a way to step off that ride safely. I just have to get to that new place more often. Get the address, go there, set up some furniture, maybe even decorate. Make it somewhere I am comfortable being long term.

That’s the plan, anyway. Wish me luck!