That feeling of pure bliss when you suddenly realize that your painstaking efforts are having the desired effect…? Un-fucking-real.
Tag: #life
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When i was maybe 14… I read a book about a woman who ends up on this space mission that has her in a ship that is approaching light speed. As the fabric of time morphs around her, she is able to see the universe expanding and cooling until there seems to be nothing left but a cold void. I don’t remember the title or author or any of that stuff….
When I was 15 or 16, I read a book actually based in science, where the author postulates that once the expansion of the universe is done, a cataclysmic reaction begins and the universe then collapses in on itself, creating the mother of all black holes, which then explodes into the stuff of existence again. The thing that got me was the immensity of the cycle he was implying. It still makes my head spin.
In any case, opening turned tangent aside, i started thinking earlier that if the world as we know it were to end, I think i’d like to be in a position where i can witness at least part of it from a distance. I mean, what would it be like? I’m assuming nuclear with the current state of things, so – flaming skies and melting earth? Would the color of the flames vary like the aurora borealis? What would it sound like? I know this sounds morbid and completely fucked up, but it’s really just a curiosity from a person who is obsessed with witnessing cosmic or destructive events in nature. Like eclipses, violent chemical reactions, meteor showers, avalanches, volcanic eruptions…. or, ya know, the destruction of the planet.
There was a point to this when i first started typing, but my mind is all over the place today and I can’t remember where I was going with this after the title. Instead of a rational, coherent discussion of some random thing or another, you got a dose of my insanity. You’re welcome.
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Why?
I’ve asked this question about a billion times, and I never get to a point where I am satisfied with the number of answers that I received.
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A rhyme my grandmother taught me that was, is, and forever shall be true!
“Patience is a virtue. Possess it if you can – seldom in a woman, never in a man.”
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Frak is such an attention whore. To the point of trampling others to be the center of attention.
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What advice would you give to your teenage self?
Oh my, where to begin….?
I would tell her to speak kindly to herself, even if she misses a goal she set. Failure is merely a learning experience – a chance to do better next time. It is not a condemnation of her worth or skill.
I would tell her that reactions are bullshit. A thoughtful response is far greater than a knee jerk reaction.
I would tell her that compassion, sympathy and empathy are important, but that no level of any of them makes you responsible for or capable of managing someone else’s emotions, nor do they obligate you to please anyone.
I would tell her that life is hard, but in most cases, you get to choose which hard you have to deal with, especially if you make that choice early enough.
I would tell her that not only is she a descendant of stardust, but that the fact that she even exists is a statistical miracle, and she would do well to honor that fact.
I would tell her that other people are entitled to their opinion, but that that opinion is nothing compared her opinion of herself.
I would tell her to be herself – say the weird thing, take up space, rant about her passions. If other people don’t get it, that’s fine. Find the ones that do.
I would tell her that the nonsense she obsesses over most likely had no lasting impact on anyone else – they are all too busy obsessing over their own foibles.
I would tell her to trust her gut, and that little voice in her head that whispers oh so faintly.
i would tell her that treating anyone else better than she treats herself is an act of betrayal and should not be tolerated.
Having said all that, would she listen? Would she take the advice of someone who knows better? Who knows? She was a stubborn thing for sure!
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Sometimes, it’s amusing to realize that most people don’t know what the fuck they’re doing in the grand scheme of things… just like you don’t. The world is chock full of functioning adults who are all just fucking winging it.
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What bores you?
Bullshit conversation and small talk.
Politics and/or history (with some exceptions).
Waiting longer than i should have to for an appointment.
Writer’s/Artist’s block. (this is more frustrating than boring, but boredom is definitely a factor depending on the length of the block)
Being stuck in traffic.
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My dad would take me fishing when I was little. The only problem was, I could never put bait on the hook… I felt horrible doing that to the worm, and would imagine a people sized bait hook going through my belly. I think the first time i tried, i wound up crying over it.
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I have a question. Where -do- intrusive thoughts come from?
Seriously, are they random outbursts of some unknown facet of our minds? Are they random possibilities simply making themselves known? Are they simply subconscious urges? and if so, does that mean that the subconscious mind of those who experience intrusive thoughts on the regular is somehow stronger than their rational mind? (in relative relation, of course. we know that the subconcious is more powerful than reason in certain ways. But is this strength somehow enhanced in certain people?) or, does it instead indicate that said person has a deeper connection between and therefore, awareness of, both?
