“Detrimental” has been my word lately, apparently.
Tag: #life
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When my mind races, it’s… it’s ultra high-speed thoughts about a million different things, but the thoughts aren’t necessarily fully formed thoughts. The core idea is there and then it’s zoomy zoom to the next thing. The emotions associated with the thought are there, i think… if there was one tied to it… Anyway…
Point is that my mind is racing away, but it is in such a rush that it never finishes its thought. I find that funny.
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Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
I decided not to pursue my dream of becoming a surgeon. I remember that night very well. I was laying in the grass, staring up at the moon. I had been having a very animated conversation in my head.
Anxious and exhausted, i took a deep breath and tried to quiet my mind, just staring at the sky. In an amazing moment of clarity, I realized that I could never be a doctor because losing a patient would utterly destroy me, even if I had done everything perfectly. Statistically speaking, I was guaranteed to lose a patient, and therefore guaranteed to destroy myself. I then asked myself – so what will I be if not a surgeon?
I still don’t have an answer, but I have learned so much since then. I’m actually starting to wonder if I even need an answer to that question that is more specific than, “I am a student of the universe.”
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The absolute earliest memory that i have as a child is all sensory. I remember feeling very tall. i was bouncing a little bit, and I remember everything being really bright. I then remember going into a darker environment, but the brightness still shone through these big glass doors that i had gone through. I stopped moving for a minute, and there was noise – people talking – and then I was moving again. As I move forward, which was actually backward because of how i was facing, I see a woman in a dark green skirt and jacket sitting at a desk, and she turned, and smiled and waved at me as I moved away.
This memory pops up in my head randomly, and it’s always the same. For a long time, i never really thought about what it was. Then, it hit me. I felt so tall and bouncy because i was being carried. My father was 5’11” – he was carrying me into the military hospital where my mother was recovering from the C-section she had to deliver my sister. the brightness is because we were in the Arizona desert.
i don’t remember the words that were spoken. I just remember feeling so tall, and being excited and curious. I felt safe, and I was in awe of the world around me.
Happy Friday!
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I’ve said this before but, holy shit, how many of the world’s problems would be eliminated if people simply had a little more fucking patience?
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Just because someone is adaptable does not mean that they don’t crave and/or enjoy the predictability of routine.
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What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
1 – my dogs
2 – making someone genuinely smile.
3 – writing
4 – the laughter of a baby
5 – cracking/stretching my back
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Describe something you learned in high school.
Something I learned in high school… trig proofs.
Something I learned outside of school while in high school…i have no idea. Life is the pinnacle of teachers. Effective even if the lessons start early.
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Anger truly is a gift. The confidence that it inspires when you calmly embrace it and then let it go (rather than simply shoving it down) is amazing.
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I just had a dream. In the dream, I was running. I haven’t had a dream where i was running in years…
A Peculiar Cerebral Tangle 