What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?
My first thought was the magma chamber of a volcano. Because, well, being alive is nice.
Then i realized the intent of the question was likely social visitation and cultural differences and shit.
In that case….
Times Square. Because – a shit ton of people, cars, noise, lights, distractions. My nervous system would fuckin’ melt or something… Way too much input.
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
I started living again.
What job would you do for free?
Are we assuming that my basic needs are addressed? If not, then none really, at least not more than odd jobs for loved ones. If i gotta make money to survive, i’m sure as hell not giving away time someone would pay me for!
But if so? Research. Consulting. Being in a think tank… ya know, nerdy shit!
And for the record ‘writing’ is not included because that is a default behavior, and occurs regardless of my circumstances.
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
That depends, different emotions require different strategies.
Anger requires motion of some sort. Vigorous cleaning, using a punching bag, screaming into a pillow… they all use a lot of energy.
Fear requires stability. Breathing. Trusting yourself.
Sadness requires release. Writing a letter then burning it, saying what you feel out loud. Crying. And i mean at least 20 minutes of that messy, sobbing, borderline uncontrollable type if necessary.
i think you have to listen to the emotion, understand what it needs to move on and do something to give it that. Safely, of course.
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?
Telekinesis.
What is your favorite type of weather?
Rainy, chilly, dreary.
Definite hoodie weather if you go out. Tea, the couch, a book, and an optional blanket otherwise.
What do you wish you could do more every day?
Sing
Draw
Write
Here’s the thing though: I can do those things more, but I choose not to.
Every time i decide to do something else, I am actively choosing not to do them.
Granted, sometimes there are valid reasons – sleep, rent, actual progress on a real goal.
But can we stop pretending that it’s anything other than a choice?
That’s what bugs me.
People say, ‘i wish i had more time’.
You have the time, you just spent it on something else.
They say, ‘i had no choice!’
You did. You just chose the option that felt safe, easy, or comfortable in the moment, and that’s fine.
But understand this:
Every action you take – or don’t – is a choice. And every choice is a tradeoff. Every. Single. One.
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Can you imagine what would happen if people owned that shit?
Fully owned their own agency?
That’s power.
Who are your favorite people to be around?
My dogs.
Snicker if you want, but they know me better than my closest friends. Little Man is great at nudging me when I need a nap!
Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.
My favorite pair of shoes was my Doc Martins. Steel toe, real leather, and durable as hell. Those boots carried me through two and a half of years of my college career, several breakups, and were on my feet when i walked in the door at my current company.
Snow? No problem. rain? Bring it on. Walkin all day on city streets or hiking in the woods? Comfort maintained. Versatility to the max!
What do you complain about the most?
I try not to complain too much. Most people have their own shit to worry about, and i have no desire to perpetuate negative energy. I would rather do something to fix the situation.
I mean, some bad days necessitate a little bitch fest, but i see that as emotional regulation. i don’t have any right to bitch for more than a minute or two about something that i’m doing nothing to change or deal with.
That said, a couple of things i do complain about:
A Peculiar Cerebral Tangle 