I did a writing prompt a few days ago that asked what your favorite word is. Now, I have a question of my own…. what is your least favorite word?
I started thinking about it, and that’s a hard question. When I was younger, it was protein. I was writing a paper for a science class, and for whatever reason, didn’t have access to a dictionary at the time. I was visiting someone, I think. Anyway, I must have crumpled up and re-written that paper two or three times because every time I wrote the word “protein” it looked wrong. And this was back in the day when you actually had to write assignments on paper with a pen.
Nowadays, I don’t know. There are certain words that I don’t like hearing some people say, because they butcher the pronunciation. Like “supposedly”. Or “administrator”. But that’s the person screwing up the word for me, not the word itself – I don’t think that counts.
I think I can actually say that I do not have a least favorite word that I can think of.
I have found that some people are severely lacking in this particular skill set. Some people need so desperately to prove something about themselves that they pay little to no mind to what the other person is saying. And if both people are doing it, the conversation is fucking pointless. It’s just two (or more) people exchanging hot air and noise. I don’t get it.
Here are the basics for good listening:
1 – shut your fucking pie hole
2 – listen to what the person is saying rather than thinking about what you’re going to say next
3 – take a moment to process what they’ve said and formulate a response
Random person — “omg, something has slightly changed about how I have to do something! I have to pay a teeny bit more attention for 3.5 ~whole~ seconds a few times an hour until I get used to the change. My day, and my life, are completely ruined!!!”
Me — “Wow, really? How is it that you pass as a functioning adult? Please, share your secret! I, too, want to be a ridiculous crybaby who is incapable of adapting to the smallest of changes!”
GMAFB
Seriously, why do people flip the fuck out about tiny shit that doesn’t really matter?
“ ‘Almost’ only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and atom bombs.”
Simple statement, yet profound.
My dad told me this after I had been doing something, had not finished, and made the excuse that I almost finished but got tired of working on it, so I quit. He didn’t elaborate, just let me think about it. I wound up finishing whatever it was. I’ve since come to equate “almost” with “half-assed” for an abandoned project.
How many times have you accepted “almost” from others? Or, more importantly, from yourself?
I’m not the type of person to have tons of friends, I never have been. I have a small circle, and I like it that way.
My small circle and I have a problem. We all suck. We sometimes go months without hanging out or even talking, and every time we do talk, we say “I miss you! It’s been too long! We should hang out more!”. We muse about what we’re going to do “next time” and the fun we will have. Good times! Then, the moment passes, we part ways, and everyday life resumes her stranglehold. Weeks and months go by until we do it all over again. Vicious cycle.
I’d just like to point out that I’m saying that everyone sucks. Almost everyone is guilty of this with their friends, and maybe even with family. Too often, we let the everyday stuff get in the way of the truly important things. The connections that we have with people add so much more value to our lives than checking off to do list items.
Asking permission for something when it’s already too late for that permission to be granted or denied in an effort to appease your own conscience is just fucking dumb. Put your big kid panties on, be a grown ass adult, let the person know what’s going on and apologize. It really is that simple.
Upon rereading my initial post, I realize that there may be an issue with my terminology. At several points, I used the terms “reason” and “root cause” as if they were interchangeable. They are definitely related, but in this context, I am not exactly sure that they are synonymous. Let’s go to my favorite book of all time – the dictionary.
According to Merriam-Webster, there are four main definitions for the word reason:
Within the third, we find the word “cause”. We’ll get into that in a minute. What strikes me for the word reason is the second definition – “a rational ground or motive”. I think this is what most of us are referring to when we talk about a reason for something. Life in particular as it relates to this discussion. We want to know what motive existence or our deity of choice had for putting us on this planet. We want a justification for our lives and the events in it. We want to know why.
Moving on to “root cause”. Oddly enough, root cause is not in the dictionary, at least not Merriam-Webster. So, we look at each part. First, cause. It is something that “brings about an effect or a result”. Second, we look at root. Now, there are several definitions depending on the field of interest, but if you look at the third definition, you see this:
What strikes me here is the first definition – the origin or source. That’s what’s being referred to when we say “the root cause”. We want to know the initial logical relationship that caused a particular event.
So, let’s take a step back. It is, apparently, impossible to define the words “reason” and “root cause” without getting into some pretty ridiculous circular logic. They are related terms, but I still think that they are not quite synonymous, because a reason carries (or can carry) an emotional connotation to it, whereas root cause – not so much. Root cause is logical. I think that distinction is what was nagging me when I reread that initial post.
I guess what it boils down to for this discussion is, what are we actually looking for? The root cause is pretty easy, it’s science. Sperm and egg get together, and voilà, human life. Events are just as easy to explain. They are logical relationships to previous events.
But the reason – the justification – is what I’m looking for. Is there a justification for human life, or is it truly random and therefore meaningless?
I read a thing recently – it was a quote from someone, but I don’t remember who. Either way. It was this:
“When you are consumed with thoughts, write. When you are uninspired, read.”
If you know who said that, please let me know. For now, ramblings continue.
What happens if you’re both? My mind is going a mile a minute – so many things and I can’t keep track of the jumping from thing to thing. Music. Writing. Work projects. Personal projects. Things that are a bit of both. Life. Philosophy. Statistics. Physics. And the connection between the last four things.
I need more tattoos. I need to finish designing the rest of my sleeve, tweak the design for my backpiece, and somehow come up with a few thousand bucks to get it all done.
holy shit. Just texting with a friend – multitasking can be evil, I know, but in this case, it’s great. The song Only came up, by NIN. I played it. Something strange happened, so I played it again to make sure. And then again. And again. (yes, I’m that person lol) I am smiling so big right now! This song used to represent to me a place where I wished I could be, but feared I would never get to. Somewhere where I could move on from the past, from myself, from random bullshit that was keeping me trapped in my own head with only this broken version of myself that longed to be something different, something more. Now, it seems like it’s talking about a place that is actually attainable, somewhere I’ve seen, almost. And that is… indescribably…. fucking…. Damnit, there are no words! Just imagine being presented with a situation where you would have more freedom than you’ve experienced in basically as long as you can remember, and how that would make you feel. That’s what this is.
I’m going to go listen to more music and bask in this awesome feeling for a while.
Without diving into definitions and rhetorical questions about the topic, I can say yes. And no. Allow me to explain.
I potentially impact others through the example of my actions, the quality of my actions, my work ethic, and my integrity. But these are the types of things that don’t change with respect to the title I have. I will work and act the same way whether I’m a stock person at a mom and pop store or a CEO of a billion dollar corporation. And the same applies to things I do for family, friends, community, or even strangers. I only hope that these things inspire others to do the same in their own lives. So, in that regard, yes, I consider myself a leader.
Do I run a company? An organization? A military unit? A department? A country? A movement calling for revolution? A cult? No. I do not motivate or inspire people to do things that I, or some kind of collective mission, need them to do. So, in that regard, I do not consider myself a leader.
The potential capacity for leadership is another question for a different day.😉
I actually misheard a song lyric a while back, but what I thought I heard actually sparked an interesting set of thoughts in my mind.
There is a distinct difference between saying that someone “can’t” do something and saying that they “don’t” do something.
If someone can’t do something, they lack the knowledge, ability, or skills to do so. For example, I can’t frame out a building. It’s a simple fact. I would have no clue how to do it properly.
If someone doesn’t do something, it may be that they are perfectly capable of whatever task or action; they simply choose not to. For example, I am capable of being a salesperson, but I made a choice not to do so as my profession.
I think more people need to realize and appreciate that in some (if not many) cases, a person is nice or good because they choose to be, not because they lack the ability to be mean or rude or even violent.
It’s an important fact to remember – you never truly know what someone might be capable of. Just because they don’t does ~not~ mean that they can’t.
A Peculiar Cerebral Tangle 