What is your favorite form of physical exercise?
This has certainly changed over the years, but currently? Walking.
Eventually, i want to be able to change that answer to “running”.
Got some work to do still. 😉
Category: Random
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ya ever see those comedy dance routines where the male partner acts like he’s in control and then the female partner takes over the lead, and they fight back and forth (big show of it) but they still execute everything perfectly and the dance is beautiful, if not hilarious?
i realized today that that is how my brain operates. it used to make me think i was crazy, but it’s actually a beautiful thing if I give in and just see what happens.
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Why is it that I am so retardedly energized and creative after nightfall and everyone else goes to bed?
It’s been that way my entire life. I know there are night owls and early risers in the world, that’s a known thing. But what purpose did being a night owl serve during our evolution? it had to have some value otherwise we’d all be Suzie Sunshine morning people by now.
So, what gives, Mother Nature? I am insanely curious to know the story behind this bizarre, almost instinctual behavior that I and others exhibit.
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What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?
To walk normally again and be able to retire my fucking cane – let it collect dust, lonely and unused in a dark corner of the house.
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If you find yourself picking out the single misspelling in something I rushed to do twenty minutes before you saw it, but still managed to do something that you don’t even know how to do, be grateful. Because if i were a petty, vindictive bitch, I would crush your ego like a bug and not think twice.
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What is your favorite hobby or pastime?
It’e not eating seeds… lol
Writing, thinking, or listening to music. Or, some combination thereof.
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I want to apologize in advance to anyone who expected profound musings based on the title. This is not the post you’re looking for; this is funny and retarded and silly.
Ya know what it’s like running around doing things in the house or whatever and you just wrap up three of them back to back? How you sit down, resting for a minute while you wait for coffee to brew or water for tea to boil?
And then you remember.
‘I forgot to start the thing didn’t I?’
Listening for indications yields nothing, but you were really looking forward to that coffee, so you haul your tired ass up and go check.
Mother fucker.
You forgot.
Doesn’t that fucking suck?
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I just had a random thought, and it rendered my mind speechless. I literally just stared at what I wrote, my entire being just… humming.
‘You would never be in a toxic relationship with someone else if you didn’t have one with yourself first.’
Now that I see this incredibly simple fact, it is impossible to unsee. You know how in dramatic movies, when someone has a realization, there’s that moment? They start seeing all the puzzle pieces they missed in the situation in these crazy flashes. Everything comes rushing together and you see that epiphany in their face? Yeah, I just had one of those moments.
Think about anyone you know who has been in a toxic relationship. (and I don’t mean this in the buzzword sense. Just because you’re not compatible with someone doesn’t make them toxic. If you think it does, you need to have some sense beaten into you.) Seriously though, people in these toxic relationships (of any kind) who do end up leaving often times look inward in healthy ways – growing and healing as a result. Because they consciously mended the most important relationship of all… the one with themselves. The simplicity and utter fact behind this is fucking unreal. The reality of my own choices slapped me in the face and said, ‘yeah, how about *that*, dumbass?’
This got me thinking. Even in the most complicated situation, the simplest explanation is usually the answer. (Thanks, Occam!) What’s more complicated than humanity? I mean, seriously. We have the largest, most diverse ecosystem on the fucking planet. Literally. So…why does humanity always find itself in shitty situations? Is it possible that humanity is in a toxic relationship with itself? Can an entire species do collective shadow work? What would that even look like? What would the other side of that work look like? What would it *feel* like?
The possibilities here are insane. Could you imagine a world where people love themselves first and foremost? And how that would overflow to other people on the planet? And the strides we could make as a species if we stopped treating everything like a personal fucking attack? It sounds wonderful, in theory… almost perfect. And yet, just thinking about the eutopia-esque existence that such a feat could accomplish, makes my stomach turn and fills me with a sense of dread because it would be completely unbalanced, which defies the laws of the universe. Balance is necessary, it is essential. It is woven into existence…
Waves have peaks and troughs.
Particles have opposite counterparts – up quarks and down quarks, for example.
Even forces in the universe have balance! Magnetism has two poles. The strong force and the weak force.
There is balance in everything – it is a requirement of existence.
Hmm… new thought. Strong force vs weak force – the strong force keeps atoms intact, the weak force forces them apart. Electromagnetism is a self-sustaining duality. So… What is gravity’s counterpart?
Gravity is attractive, as a force. As a feeling, it’s somber and heavy and immovable, which is an interesting linguistic juxtaposition, but not the matter at hand. The laws of thermodynamics – entropy always increases. Gravity is the opposite of entropy, isn’t it? So, if we find the cause of entropy (or why it’s always increasing) then we’ll know the counterpart to gravity. But entropy is a measurement, so it can’t really have a ‘cause’….
there is something more to this. there can’t be negative gravity or negative entropy, it doesn’t make sense. there is something more basic about gravity, and about entropy. something we’re missing. the strong and weak force are a pair. electromagnetism is a whole made from two parts, and is essentially energy. the strong force is essentially subatomic gravity. the weak force is how subatomic entropy happens. what if… what if the four basic forces of the universe are not actually the four basic forces of the universe? What if it’s even simpler than that? Think about the epitome of gravity – a black hole. light cannot escape, but some energy does. what if energy and its counterpart (not sure what to call it) are the true basic forces of the universe?
What if duality is the essence of existence?
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When i was in elementary school, we moved to New York. Being that we lived down south just prior, and my dad being a farm boy from Texas, I had a southern accent. I was made fun of relentlessly.
As any elementary aged kid would do, i tried to compensate, to fit in. I tried to talk like my friends at school. at one point, my father started to make fun of me for talking like my friends, and then proceeded to tell me to ‘cut that shit out’.
So, i did what any fledgling nerd would do…. i cracked open the dictionary, looked up all the words i could think of that i used regularly and found the proper pronunciation. I got in the habit of looking up new words just to make sure that i was pronouncing them the right way.
later in life, people would tell me that i don’t sound like i’m from anywhere. and that kinda fits, cuz i’m literally not from anywhere in particular, having moved around so much.
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I have heard from lots of different people, from all walks of life, about being ‘present’ in the current moment.
I have also learned about the mechanisms behind attention and awareness in the human body.
In psychology, you ground yourself in the present by focusing your attention on your breath.
The brain can only truly focus on one thing at a time.
Does anyone else share my confusion? What the fuck am i supposed to be paying attention to in order to be fully present in a dynamic situation?
I can be sitting outside, for example. I feel the sun on my face. I hear birds and bugs and traffic. I want to be present and truly experience this moment, so what the hell do i focus on? This whole process is super simple when i am overwhelmed or emotional because it’s exclusionary. I want to forget everything that is going on in that moment so focusing on one thing makes sense.
As i think about all this, my mind wanders to awareness. We are all pros at being aware of something but not really noticing it. Your clothes. Your jewelry. The sound of a fan. The glasses on your face. Is presence in a non-emotional moment akin to expanding your awareness to include everything?
it’s funny how nobody ever talks about being present in everyday moments, at least that i’ve seen or heard. It’s all in the context of meditation or yoga or emotional turmoil. Moments when you have to stop and intentionally focus on something specific. Nobody talks about *how* to carry those practices into your daily life in order to fully experience it.
i mean, i get that the present moment is really all we have but we can’t all go around in life focused on our breathing. I don’t think a half-meditative state is really the greatest idea when you’re driving. or flying a plane. So, what i’d like is for someone to explain the flip side of this coin. For healing practices, it’s breath focus. for everyday life, it’s X.
A Peculiar Cerebral Tangle 