Category: Random

Full disclosure – this started as a rant fueled by the fact that I’m frustrated with people using hot-button terms to try to excuse shit ass behavior, or as a reason that they “can’t” do what they want to do with their lives, themselves, whatever the case may be. And some of these terms were originally meant for real, helpful intent, not just a label that people use as a fucking hall pass. So, here goes…

I dislike the term neurodivergent as it is used today. You can’t be diverging from a “normal” that doesn’t fucking exist. Don’t get me wrong, it does fit in extreme cases – like someone believes that their dog shape-shifts into a dragon and flies them to Egypt every night. That is far outside the realm of rational thought processing. But, if you’re a little quirky with how your brain operates, how you learn, process, store and create ideas…. That’s not being neurodivergent. That’s being you. A naturally occurring neuro-electrochemical machine that just so happens to function a little different than anyone else’s. Big fucking deal. Stop trying to label yourself or use it as an excuse and go do something with that magical brain in your head!

I’m not talking about people with honest to god conditions that impede how they are able to function in the world. These people deserve respect and consideration within a system not built to accommodate them, I get that. I’ve known several people who fit this description. But ya know what? They don’t fucking care what label society places on them, they just want to live their lives – just like anyone else. What I’m referring to is people who hijack the term to avoid self-examination, effort to be better, and personal growth.

I met a little boy years ago – when I was 16 or so. I don’t know the details, but he was non-verbal, confined to a wheelchair. I was on a school bus with him, and he dropped one of the toy figurines he was playing with. A couple of other kids on the bus snatched it up and were teasing him with it. I got up out of my seat, grabbed the figurine and yelled at the other kids. I then turned to the little boy and handed him his figurine. His eyes lifted to meet mine. There was a sense of surprise in his eyes. And aside from the fact that I swear this kid looked straight into my soul, I could feel the gratitude radiating from him. This child was not at all broken – he was trapped in a body that does not respond to what he wants it to do. He was neurodivergent.  

The term neurodivergent was meant to attach a classification to—and enable advocacy for—people with serious conditions. I’m not going to call them disabilities, because that’s not what they are. They are differences in functional process. It was a term intended for good use; to destigmatize these conditions. To make society realize that difference is not dysfunction or lack of function. And I absolutely applaud this effort.

However, as with many things that humanity gets its claws into, the term and its meaning have been bastardized, diluted, made ‘trendy’ and somehow socially novel and interesting. This has completely decimated the original intent. Being ‘neurodivergent’ is now somehow a badge of honor, a flag to fly to show the world that you are different, oppressed, ostracized. But that’s bullshit. If you don’t treat it like a thing, it won’t be a fucking problem.

Now, people use the term so nonchalantly. They use the term to signal that they don’t think or operate like the majority of society, and that not fitting into society’s boxes somehow makes them damaged or broken. If they do things that are deemed ‘weird’, all of a sudden they are the misunderstood victim. And they then use that as an excuse for not working on themselves, for not advocating for themselves, for not living their life the way they want to. Because, why, exactly? Society will judge you? Big fucking deal. People will be uncomfortable? So what? That just means they’re not your fucking people. Because other people won’t get it? That’s fine. As long as you do, that’s all that matters.

I could very well be considered “neurodivergent”. I have quirky behaviors. If I’m pouring a liquid, it has to be for a count that is a multiple of 3. I count stairs. If I’m writing, music is acceptable. If I’m working with math or data, I need silence. I have thoughts that draw relationships between completely ‘unrelated’ things. But, it works. So I run with it.

I think what people need to remember is that every single one of us is different. Genetics, environment, responses. And there is nothing wrong with that. Ok, so you have a routine for how you prepare for a big task, that’s cool. Whatever works. As long as it doesn’t include human or animal sacrifice, I’m pretty sure you’re good. If it doesn’t harm or inordinately inconvenience anyone (including yourself, mind you), there’s really nothing to worry about. No need for a label. No need for boxes. Just do your thing. People will get it, or they won’t. If they don’t, that’s not your problem.

The fact of the matter is – no one’s mind is ever going to function exactly like yours. And that is fucking beautiful. Something to be embraced.