Category: Opinion

Patience

January 15th, 2024

I’m not sure when patience stopped being a common thing, but I get super irritated when people lack patience, especially in certain situations. I mean, seriously, if it’s a matter of waiting an extra 10 seconds for something? Take a sip of coffee. 10 minutes? Run to the bathroom or check your phone. It’s generally not really that urgent. In most cases, it’s not at all the life or death scenario that some people make it out to be.

Now, I’m not saying not to get a bit testy if you’ve been waiting for an hour and then get told you have to wait longer. Or if the wait time is completely out of line for what you’re waiting for. That’s different. I’m talking first level lack of patience when something isn’t immediate. (I will say, however, that your feeling impatient or somehow slighted because you’ve had to wait is never an acceptable reason to be rude.)

I understand that we now live in a fast paced, highly digital world where things are often done/achieved/obtained faster than they ever have been, and at times, that can be wonderful. But, I’m also going to say that perhaps the quality of what we are getting oh so expeditiously is not nearly what it would be if we simply had some patience.

Something to think about.
I cannot stand…

January 8th, 2024

Listening to people talk over each other all vying to be the center of attention. I literally just shut down and stop contributing because I refuse to expend that much energy to not be heard anyway. It’s not fucking worth it.

If you’re not going to listen to the other people you are with, why fucking bother? This applies to work meetings or social gatherings.

I get side conversations that branch off the original train of thought. But when the person talking raises their voice or repeats themselves to be heard, or when the person speaking is ignored so that another person can speak? Or when there are multiple people speaking increasingly louder? That’s just too much. I can’t deal with that.

Maybe it’s just me and that’s how group conversations are, and I am just imagining that it used to be different. If so, my bad. If not? Grow the fuck up, show some respect, and learn to fucking listen.

Rant over. Thank you for your time.
A Hatebreed kinda Monday…

January 8th, 2024

As soon as I woke up this morning, the first thing to pop in my head was Hatebreed lyrics. Specifically, a song called Something’s Off. Once I got my morning started and logged into work, I’ve had my Hatebreed collection on shuffle. It’s a nice start to a Monday.
Anger is a gift

December 18th, 2023

There is a Rage Against the Machine song called Freedom that includes, in a quiet moment of the song, the words, “anger is a gift”. This is so true, and I have experienced the subjective truth of that today.

I have been stressing lately; life has just been throwing one ridiculous curveball after another. I was at my breaking point. Another curveball is lobbed my way and smacks me in the nose. I got pissed. I was white hot, livid. I don’t usually get like that. Ever. I mean, the dogs were walking slowly around me with their ears back and heads down because, I imagine, the rage was actually palpable. I put in my headphones and started blasting some angry music while taking care of what needed to be done, stewing in my hatred for life at this point. 10 minutes…. 20 minutes…. An hour has gone by now, and I feel calmer than I have in weeks. I apologized to the dogs and told them I love them.

I suppose there is something to be said for actually sitting with your emotions for a while and just letting them exist without trying to just make them stop or go away. Let them have the life they want. Yes, it can suck, but an hour of sitting with my anger is far better than the weeks of misery and anxiety I’ve spent trying to suppress it and pretend it didn’t exist.

That said, today, anger was a gift. And some days, so too are sadness and fear. I think the key is to sit with them – let them exist – and then, take inventory of what you have to work with and move on with what needs to be done once their visit is over.
A different word….

December 1st, 2023

I think we need some different words for “friend”.

A long time ago, a friend of mine, who I’ve since grown distant from, told me that the ancient Greeks had several words for love, to describe the different qualities of love that you have for someone. You love your significant other in one way, your grandmother in another, and yourself in yet another. There are actually 8 in total, and this includes the love that you have for yourself.

I think we need the same type of delineation for friends and/or friendship.

For example. There are friends that you have that you hang out with occasionally, share some details about your life with. There are friends that you have, say at work or at school, where you don’t really hang out, but you share the commonality of being at work or school together, and you hang out there, maybe commiserate a bit and share certain snippets of your life with them. Then, you have your close friends, who know a hell of a lot more than any of your other friends about you, your past, your current life. And then, you have that very close person, or maybe two people, who know everything and would do anything for you. They would give you money, no questions asked and with no expectation of repayment. They would watch (and you would trust them to watch) your kids or your pets. They would help you dispose of a body if you needed it, and then go out for drinks after like it was any other random Tuesday. Your true ride or die.

The only word we have in English for any of these people is “friend”, but some of them just barely meet the criteria, and others go above and beyond by lightyears. Why is it, then that we do not differentiate?
Be Different

November 22nd, 2023

Quote of the day.

“If you want to make a difference in the world it means you have to be different from the world you see.”

– Hatebreed
Nice people

October 28th, 2023

I have come to realize that people are nice for different reasons.

Some people are nice simply out of adherence to social convention.

Some people are nice because they are manipulating you; they need or want something from you.

Some people are nice because they are just a nice person, and may even be a bit naive.

Some people are nice because they have walked through hell and fought demons every single day at some point in their lives, and perhaps still do. All the while, the world goes on as usual, expecting normal things from people in very abnormal circumstances.

The problem lies in the fact that you never truly know which category a person falls into, and you may never know. This is why it is important to always be kind, but also important to protect yourself. This may mean saying no if you need to, establishing boundaries, and so on. This may also mean not taking advantage of someone’s niceness, because you may not want to find out what the other side of that person looks like.
The Yellow Pages

October 27th, 2023

I’m probably gonna date myself here, but I don’t care.

I liked the yellow pages for finding companies. You could look up a category – lawyers, furniture, dentists, whatever – and get a listing of all the businesses of that type in your area. You know your area, so could tell by the town names how far away they are. Maybe you had a friend who used a particular company and told you they loved dealing with that company. Noted. Maybe a coworker had a horrible experience with a different company. Also noted. (Mental filing cabinets are your friends!!)

My point is, I don’t want some algorithm to show me only the results that it thinks I’d be interested in. I also don’t want another algorithm to bombard me with ads for shit I have no interest in just because I was curious about one thing on a random fucking Tuesday a few weeks ago. I don’t want to see sponsored listings for something only remotely related, or from companies that pay to subvert other companies by having their info at the top of the results list. I want to see ~all~ of my options, speak to a human being when I call, and make my own informed decision about who I’m going to give my business to. Just sayin.

That’s all, rant over. Carry on.

Happy Friday!
Random thought before sleeping

October 24th, 2023

My brain is a sponge living in a body with self-destructive/murderous tendencies.

I will elaborate.

I can learn just about anything pretty quickly, and love to do so. Hence, sponge. I also have an autoimmune condition which attacks and damages my brain. Hence, self-destructive/murderous tendencies.

Just a random, slightly fucked up, oddly funny thought that crossed my mind as I was getting ready to sleep, so I figured I’d share.

Have a great night!
Answering questions

October 17th, 2023

Fun fact!!

If you ask someone a question, or ask them for help, and they follow up with a question in order to better understand the issue, situation, or original question, it behooves you to answer the fucking question. Don’t make it impossible to get information that is needed to help you. If the person you’re asking has to pull teeth to get what they need to do what you need, it’s not worth it for them.

Additionally, if the answer to the question that they are asking reflects poorly on you, that’s not a valid reason to withhold the information. You have two options in that case – don’t ask until you’re comfortable with what you’ve done to solve the problem on your own first, or be honest about shit. Anything else is just a waste of everyone’s time.

Don’t be fucking dumb.