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Imagine that! if you actually follow the instructions you were given, shit fucking works! whoda thunk it?
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Who’s to say that existence isn’t structured in a way that looks like what you see in mirrors that are facing each other?
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I just saw something that said, ‘I have the power to rewrite my story’. I disagree with this statement. You can’t rewrite your story; the past is what the past is. you can’t change that,…
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I hate when you eat an awesome meal, go sit down to relax, and then get the fucking hiccups. I mean, seriously? Wtf, diaphragm?
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i just found myself trying to chew pudding. Wtf?
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I’m honestly feelin kinda pissy today. One of those ‘wish a mother fucker would…’ kinda days. Could be interesting….
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I just opened a container of fresh pineapple. I stuck my fork into the juicy flesh, bring it to my lips…. And blow on it to cool it down… It came out of the fucking…
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I acknowledge and embrace both my “this motherfucker…” side and my “yeah, i think that would be spiffy!” side.
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Take out a ruler, or a tape measure. Go ahead, it’s ok, I’m not gonna trick you into doing anything stupid, i promise. ok, got the measuring device? Take a look at how big one…