There was a period of about 4 years where I had more piercings than i had years of existing on the planet. I find that hilarious.
Month: September 2025
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When i was in elementary school, we moved to New York. Being that we lived down south just prior, and my dad being a farm boy from Texas, I had a southern accent. I was made fun of relentlessly.
As any elementary aged kid would do, i tried to compensate, to fit in. I tried to talk like my friends at school. at one point, my father started to make fun of me for talking like my friends, and then proceeded to tell me to ‘cut that shit out’.
So, i did what any fledgling nerd would do…. i cracked open the dictionary, looked up all the words i could think of that i used regularly and found the proper pronunciation. I got in the habit of looking up new words just to make sure that i was pronouncing them the right way.
later in life, people would tell me that i don’t sound like i’m from anywhere. and that kinda fits, cuz i’m literally not from anywhere in particular, having moved around so much.
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why (or perhaps more importantly, how) is it that some people are simply content with their own inconsistency?
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If i ever committed a violent crime, nobody would believe that i was actually capable of doing whatever it was… just sayin.
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For the record… i am not now, nor have i ever been, a fucking mindreader.
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I like being punctual.
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I swear, dog fur becomes self-replicating once it is detached from the dog.
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I have heard from lots of different people, from all walks of life, about being ‘present’ in the current moment.
I have also learned about the mechanisms behind attention and awareness in the human body.
In psychology, you ground yourself in the present by focusing your attention on your breath.
The brain can only truly focus on one thing at a time.
Does anyone else share my confusion? What the fuck am i supposed to be paying attention to in order to be fully present in a dynamic situation?
I can be sitting outside, for example. I feel the sun on my face. I hear birds and bugs and traffic. I want to be present and truly experience this moment, so what the hell do i focus on? This whole process is super simple when i am overwhelmed or emotional because it’s exclusionary. I want to forget everything that is going on in that moment so focusing on one thing makes sense.
As i think about all this, my mind wanders to awareness. We are all pros at being aware of something but not really noticing it. Your clothes. Your jewelry. The sound of a fan. The glasses on your face. Is presence in a non-emotional moment akin to expanding your awareness to include everything?
it’s funny how nobody ever talks about being present in everyday moments, at least that i’ve seen or heard. It’s all in the context of meditation or yoga or emotional turmoil. Moments when you have to stop and intentionally focus on something specific. Nobody talks about *how* to carry those practices into your daily life in order to fully experience it.
i mean, i get that the present moment is really all we have but we can’t all go around in life focused on our breathing. I don’t think a half-meditative state is really the greatest idea when you’re driving. or flying a plane. So, what i’d like is for someone to explain the flip side of this coin. For healing practices, it’s breath focus. for everyday life, it’s X.
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I really do wish i could record my thoughts. Some of the adventures my thoughts take are fun.
A Peculiar Cerebral Tangle 