Undirected intelligence is dangerous.
Month: March 2025
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Do you enjoy your job?
Yes!
I solve problems of various different types for all sorts of people. It’s challenging and dynamic – i don’t really get bored.
Now, that’s not to say that every day is full of metaphoric cookies, puppies and rainbows. I have bad days, long days, frustrating days, days when i wish i could resort to violence – that’s just part of living as a human being. But overall, i love my job. I also understand how lucky i am in that regard, and am grateful.
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Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.
Closing a chapter in your life can be bittersweet, or it can be exhilarating, but it can also be obscured by the events that turned that last page…
Such is the case with me. Due to circumstances far outside the realm of my control, i left the innocence and relative feelings of safety that come with childhood far too early. At the time, i had no concept of what closing a chapter of your life even meant, much less realize that that was what was happening.
I was a precocious little girl – an old soul, my grandmother would say. perhaps that’s why i didn’t notice my childhood waving at me, teary eyed, as i walked away. Of course i didn’t notice something as “insignificant” as my childhood – there were more important things that needed to be done to help my family. I could get back to playing and imagining after, when everything was back to normal… right? Wrong. oh, how very wrong. the blissful days of running around in a sun shower, Saturday morning cartoons, and playing hide and seek or Miss Mary Mack all disappeared in the blink of an eye, and I didn’t even know it had happened.
Later in life, i had to deal with and process this goodbye, and it was hard. Probably one of the hardest things i’ve ever had to do for myself. Even years later, i was wholly unprepared for it and the emotions that came with it, most of which i had thought i had buried deep enough that I’d never have to deal with them again. Oh, the charming ignorance of childhood…
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I am not a vocalist by any stretch of the imagination, but i still love to sing.
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Seeing a C-5 on a landing approach is freaking awe-inspiring. I mean, a regular plane is impressive enough, but a C-5 is massive!!
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That feeling of pure bliss when you suddenly realize that your painstaking efforts are having the desired effect…? Un-fucking-real.
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When i was maybe 14… I read a book about a woman who ends up on this space mission that has her in a ship that is approaching light speed. As the fabric of time morphs around her, she is able to see the universe expanding and cooling until there seems to be nothing left but a cold void. I don’t remember the title or author or any of that stuff….
When I was 15 or 16, I read a book actually based in science, where the author postulates that once the expansion of the universe is done, a cataclysmic reaction begins and the universe then collapses in on itself, creating the mother of all black holes, which then explodes into the stuff of existence again. The thing that got me was the immensity of the cycle he was implying. It still makes my head spin.
In any case, opening turned tangent aside, i started thinking earlier that if the world as we know it were to end, I think i’d like to be in a position where i can witness at least part of it from a distance. I mean, what would it be like? I’m assuming nuclear with the current state of things, so – flaming skies and melting earth? Would the color of the flames vary like the aurora borealis? What would it sound like? I know this sounds morbid and completely fucked up, but it’s really just a curiosity from a person who is obsessed with witnessing cosmic or destructive events in nature. Like eclipses, violent chemical reactions, meteor showers, avalanches, volcanic eruptions…. or, ya know, the destruction of the planet.
There was a point to this when i first started typing, but my mind is all over the place today and I can’t remember where I was going with this after the title. Instead of a rational, coherent discussion of some random thing or another, you got a dose of my insanity. You’re welcome.
A Peculiar Cerebral Tangle 