I wrapped a gift for a dear friend recently using only tissue paper, some ribbon, and a pocketknife. My mother would be mortified. My father would be proud.
Month: September 2024
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When I was about 10, I opened the front door to take the dog out. It was super early, and cold that morning. I go to open the screen door and as I look up, there is giant buck in our front yard, and a couple females as well. (His harem, I’m guessing. Do deer even have harems? Or are they the mate for life kind of animal?) Anyway, I shooed the dog back, telling him we would go out in a little bit. I then crept outside as quietly as I could so as not to scare the deer.
The buck was bigger than any animal I had ever seen at that point, and as I stepped outside, he turned to me and just stared at me. The female deer seemed a little apprehensive and a bit jumpy, but this dude just stared me down. It was intimidating and exhilarating. I sat down on the front stoop and just watched. Mr. Buck got bored with me, I guess; he went back to grazing on the frosty grass since he determined that I was not a threat.
It was one of the most peaceful moments of my life. It was so incredibly quiet, the cold making it seem even more silent than silent. It was truly a beautiful thing, and I wish that was something I could experience more often in life.
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I like acronyms. They are incredibly useful, especially when taking notes and/or trying to be brief with anything written. So far, my favorite is FUBAR.
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I’ve been thinking about this a lot the past few days…. I do talk about myself in the third person sometimes, especially when writing in my journal, and I am very curious as to two things. 1 – does anyone else do this? and 2 – what does this stem from? Why does my brain/mind sometimes choose to ignore or diminish its own existence? What is the coping mechanism at play here, because I have this sneaking suspicion that this is not a “normal” thing.
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For a person who is borderline obsessed with the concept of balance, I am pretty frickin’ unbalanced in a few key ways….
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What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?
Rudeness
No explanation. If you are rude to others, especially for no reason, that is a huge red flag. Kindness is free. If you can’t constantly utilize it, that’s an issue.
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My one dog has a super loud bark. The other two can be noisy for sure, but the third has a bark that is just…. different. It makes you squint involuntarily because it’s just that intense.
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I disagree with this idea, for a couple of reasons.
First, it defies logic. 1+1 does not equal 1, unless we’re talking about one sperm and one egg joining to create an embryo. But in that case, the sperm and the egg each only have half the genetic material necessary to create an embryo, so that situation is actually 0.5 + 0.5 =1, which makes sense.
Now, since we are each born as a whole being, that means we are complete on our own. Any completeness that someone may be seeking will only be found within themselves, not from any external thing or entity.
I believe this idea started in Greek mythology, and humans were said to be these strange beings with 4 arms, 4 legs and two faces….Even now, the mental image of this is bizarre and difficult to comprehend… Anyway, for whatever reason, Zeus got a bug up his ass, split all the humans, scattered them, and we were then doomed to roam the earth in search of our other half. Nice story, but I don’t buy it.
I just wonder why we’ve held on to this idea, why we curse ourselves generation after generation with this delusion that we are incomplete without this elusive counterpart. Why do we not instead think of ourselves as intact from the get go, and view relationships to/with others as ways to accentuate our qualities and experience things in life?
I also wonder where the world would be by now if had it been populated the whole time with people who knew their entire lives that they were complete as they were? A bunch of people searching only for experiences and things they are passionate about, not someone to make them whole or worthy as a result of that wholeness. How much happier would humanity be?
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I want to write something profound, yet – even with all the craziness in my head, I have nothing to say.
This is bullshit.
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Some days, I want to just scream, but with the added effect of completely eviscerating people, similar to Alanis Moreisette in Dogma.
A Peculiar Cerebral Tangle 