The Point – Part 9

Part 8 included a conclusion that I do not believe that existence can be a random set of events that simply happen just because they happen. There is some sort of intelligence behind existence, there has to be. There are too many patterns, relationships, cyclic activities…. all of those things defy the definition of random.

So, there is something. But what is it?

My mind wanders to determinism. I’m curious about that still. I can’t say I completely understand it yet, but something about it just doesn’t feel right. While I cannot accept that everything is simply random chance, I also cannot accept that we ultimately have no choice in the things that we do, think, or feel. Growth would never be possible. Healing would never be possible. Evolution of self would never be possible. And these are all things that I know do happen.

The idea behind this post was to explore atheism, and I believe that is the wrong word to explore. I am not saying that atheism is the route to go. On the contrary, I think that a god is a real possibility, but I do believe that the “god” in question is different from the hundreds (or more) that humanity has come up with over the course of our existence. Perhaps the word “agnostic” is more appropriate.

If you’ve read this blog, you know I love the dictionary. I looked up agnostic, and though I agree with the first definition, I took issue with the second, because I immediately thought of indecision, wishy washyness, and general lack of conviction, lack of thought. But that’s not the case. I would say that, when it comes to the existence of god, an agnostic has conviction that there is certainly something, but they cannot, with conviction, say that a particular god is the god. And, at this point, that is where I stand. God is possible. But so are a few other things, and I have no reason to say that one god or one possibility is any more likely than the other.

There are themes that run through most of the major religions. Kindness. Tolerance. A right to life. Forgiveness. There are even historical things that are common – a worldwide flood, for example. If all of these things run through all of these very different religions…. isn’t it possible that none of them is “right”, per say, and it’s the concepts that are correct? If so, would it not make sense that we should live our lives in pursuit of those values, rather than some culturally based ideal of said values?

Side note before I go…. I had a theory, when I was about 15, maybe 16. That tells you how long I’ve been thinking about this shit. Anyway, the theory was that whatever you believed…. the Christian God, Allah, nothingness, purgatory… whatever. Whatever you believed in your heart would be what you experienced. And the issue with that is that I had no idea what would happen to someone like me who didn’t really know what to believe. So yeah, there’s that.