When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why?
Any single parent in the world who manages to raise a happy, healthy child. All of the single parents I’ve known personally have been moms, but I know there’s single dads out there too. Moms and dads who, for whatever reason, are in a position where they have to play the roles of both parents, who sacrifice themselves for the sake of their children and who work as long and as hard as they have to to make sure their children are not only taken care of, but have the best life possible. That is the picture of success. And, a picture of heroism as far as I’m concerned.
This, like so many other preferences and definitions of what a “good” whatever is, depends on my mood.
In general, I want my neighbors to not be assholes. We don’t necessarily have to be friends, per se, but friendly is always good. If the person is crabby, so be it, but I like to smile and wave at neighbors. Also, keep your pets, plants, kids, etc. out of my yard unless invited. That’s just being polite.
I also think that neighbors who mind their own business but get involved in emergency situations is good. For example, if I come home from a shopping trip with a small trampoline, several buckets of paint, and half a dozen brightly colored feather boas, you can be curious, but that’s about it unless we have become friends at some point or I volunteer more information. At the same time, if I come home from work one day and some creepy dude attacks me, and you hear or see what’s going on, you better be doing something to help! If not, you definitely crash into asshole status.
If you ask someone a question, or ask them for help, and they follow up with a question in order to better understand the issue, situation, or original question, it behooves you to answer the fucking question. Don’t make it impossible to get information that is needed to help you. If the person you’re asking has to pull teeth to get what they need to do what you need, it’s not worth it for them.
Additionally, if the answer to the question that they are asking reflects poorly on you, that’s not a valid reason to withhold the information. You have two options in that case – don’t ask until you’re comfortable with what you’ve done to solve the problem on your own first, or be honest about shit. Anything else is just a waste of everyone’s time.
There are a couple, but I would have to say that being kind in everything I do is the main one. There is no reason to treat people poorly, even if they upset you or make you mad.And there are a million reasons to be kind even if the other person doesn’t know about it, or if they can’t do anything for you in return.
Now, this is not to say that I don’t put an asshole in their place from time to time. That is sometimes necessary. But I won’t be an asshole towards them in response to their actions towards me.
Part 4 was a discussion of the scarier points of a random universe, but ended with a question about free will, which I’d like to get into now. To start, we will consult Merriam-Webster.
There are two ways to write this word — freewill and free will, the former being an adjective, the latter a noun. We are interested in the noun, so here we go:
Free will is making a choice on your own, but can that rule out randomness? Habits come to mind, which makes me think that yes, free will can rule out the idea that all choices are random.
But what about those choices not related to habit? And, to expand on that, how many of our choices are not related to habitual behavior? For example, if you are a frugal person, and see a dollar on the sidewalk, you’re likely to pick it up. If not, you may just walk on by. That choice to pick up the dollar or not, is related to a quality that you have – being frugal. And it creates certain habits, even if you did not consciously work to establish said habit. That leads to the conclusion that the type of person we are – frugal, a career person, an animal person, etc. – determines the types of habits we have and the choices we make. That, in turn, makes me think that all of our choices are related to habit, and if that is the case, not random.
Additionally, are there any random habits? The more I think about this, I think that any choice that we make is based on habit. But we can choose to forego habitual behavior. For example, I attended a baby shower today. I purchased non-practical gifts for said event. This was out of character for me, since I tend to err on the side of practicality when it comes to gifts for big events like birth or marriage.
Let’s take a moment to consult the dictionary again:
Habits are usual, regular, or recurring events or modes of behavior. Random is random – it could be any of the choices, with equal probability of each; the flip of a coin. Human beings are creatures of habit. If you have a particular value, such as honesty, or frugality, then your behaviors tend to reinforce that value. In other words, your choices reflect your values. Habits are value based. Can values be random? I lean towards no on this, because values have a purpose, and can have or cause a pattern.
A random thought, how do instincts fall into this? Instincts are predictable behaviors, but not one that a choice is made about.
This needs some additional thought before I continue. Prepare for part 6!
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
The first time I actually felt like a grownup was when I read a eulogy for my father at the age of 15. My uncle, who I adore, was standing at the podium behind me in the chapel. He had told me to let him know if I needed him to step in. There was a point when I felt I couldn’t continue, but I heard him crying so hard, though he tried to stifle it, and felt him shaking as his hands were on my shoulders. I summoned all my strength in that moment and finished the eulogy.
I have been writing lately about the possibility that life is just a random series of events, that there is no meaning to any of it. Again, to emphasize…. The possibility. I do not nor do I claim to know the answer to that question.
Another thing that I have been thinking about is the number phi and the Fibonacci sequence. Key word here is thinking. Internal. Known to myself only.
What to I see on FB today? A scene from the movie Pi, one of my favorite movies, where Max is talking to someone about the numerical significance of Hebrew, and then he ends up explaining the Fibonacci sequence to this other dude. What?!?
Seriously, wtf? Can the internet read my mind now? Is this the grandest of all consequences? Or is this something bigger than all of that? How do i figure out which?
I need to design an experiment. Maybe, not thinking, I looked up something related to Fibonacci, or some algorithm saw my draft post. Either way, I need to eliminate variables and get some useful data.
If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?
This is a difficult one.
There are thousands of charities out there, many of them exist for a good cause. Of note for me personally are the MS Society, the American Cancer Society, the Wounded Warrior Project…. I mean, the list goes on.
But then, the cynical side of my brain kicks in and says, “yeah, but how many of the people who run these supposed non-profit organizations are making bank in their positions? How much of what you donate is actually going to go to the cause rather than funding someone’s salary?” And so, I think more….
If I had a million dollars to give away to any cause, I would use the money to build homes for homeless veterans, with the first year of property and school tax included to allow them time to get back on their feet. And I would work exclusively with contractors and suppliers who would work with me on the costs of their products and services, understanding how important the cause is. I, and the vendors, would make zero dollars in these transactions. This would be an opportunity to do the right thing for people who did right by us, and if the contractor or supplier is more interested in making money, they don’t get the business. Simple as that.
Now, would this endeavor help thousands of people? Probably not. Maybe a handful at best. But, to completely change the lives of 6, 7, maybe even 10 people, people who put their lives on the line for me? And to change those lives for the better, with no ill effects to anyone? That would be an amazing opportunity, and one that I would jump at with no hesitation.
What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.
Well, the first thing to pop in my head was skydiving. 😝 I have always wanted to do that, but have issues with planes and am basically a chicken shit when it comes to strapping myself into a giant metal container going a couple hundred miles an hour while tens of thousands of feet away from the ground. So, yeah, there’s that.
Thinking more seriously about it, though, a few different things come to mind. The first of which is going back to school with the ultimate goal of becoming a researcher at CERN. That has been a dream of mine for a very long time.
The second, more practical response is that I would get the licensing for and start my own financial advisory firm, specializing in helping everyday people with everything from budgets to investing to finance their dreams.
Finally, perhaps in addition to one of the first two options, I want to publish a book that I’ve had the idea for since I was 20.
Each of these options present issues with how I pay bills in the interim. If I am guaranteed not to fail at the goal, that’s awesome, but I don’t need to end up in dire straits in the meantime because I can’t afford basic living expenses.
Will any of them happen? If so, which one? I have no idea, but I will continue dreaming and hopefully gain the courage to do at least one of them….
Wow…. There are so many answers to this… For the record though, the artists that I list below are just some of those that I love/enjoy. The only one that I have an actual favorite for is music, and that is Tool.
Musical – Tool, Otep, Dry Kill Logic, All That Remains, White Zombie, Staind, Straight Line Stitch, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Flaw, Fort Minor, Hatebreed, SOAD, Journey, Korn, NIN, Poe, RATM….. i could go on and on
Drawing/Painting/Photo – Escher, Monet, Giger, Dali, Ansel Adams, Semyon and Valentina Kirlian, there is one other abstract photographer that for the life of me, i can’t remember right now, and I’m too tired to go look for the book!
Other – DaVinci
Poetry/writing – Poe, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Robert Jordan, Lao-Tzu, Emily Dickinson, Marge Piercy, Shel Silverstein
I adore art of any kind because it is emotional expression. It conveys a part of the artist’s soul and is interpreted by the observer’s soul, and it is unique in every single experience. Truly beautiful.
A Peculiar Cerebral Tangle 