The dog brain theory

I have a theory, and I’ve had this theory for years. Some may disagree, some may say, “holy shit, that’s gotta be it!”. Anyway, here it is.

All dogs, and I’m talking domesticated dogs, not wolves or anything like that in the wild, but dogs that you find in shelters, on the street, at a breeder’s, whatever. Dogs. They all have the same sized brain. Bear with me.

A chihuahua – the demon spawn of the canine world, who would rip you apart limb from limb (if it were capable). A pit bull or a lab – a great friend, gentle, intelligent (for the most part), stable. A saint bernard or a mastiff – a giant, loafing, doofy, drooling lump of lovable fur. All of these dogs have the same size brain, and their characteristics are a direct result of this simple fact.

Think about it. You put a ton of brainpower, or anything really, in a container that is too small for it, what happens? You get spillage. How does that spillage manifest in an animal? Aggression, bulgy eyes, twitchy movements, high pitched voice. You put that same amount of stuff in a container that is just the right size? It closes, everything fits, everyone is happy. The animal is relatively smart, well balanced, etc. You take the same amount of stuff and put it in a giant container, what do you have? Empty space. Enough said.

Now that is not to say that you can’t have well balanced rat dogs, or intelligent canine horses. There are exceptions to every rule. But, in general, this is the dog brain theory. Please let me know your thoughts.

Thank you for your time.